Regardless of who is in charge and the issues presented, we are not security guards, nor will we allow family members to make us so.It takes all our energy to care for the patients we have, and dealing with family violence is not something we do if we can help it.
I just found out my mother has Alzheimer's and is living in a nursing home. And now my half-brother is taking over and won't let me visit her. I'm assuming you've already had the hard conversation -- very tightly focused on what's best for your mother -- with the half-brother who is hell-bent on blocking your access to her. You may be able to find out specifics about his concerns that will help you all be able to pull together rather than be torn farther apart during this difficult time.
But you have lived your life with the ins and outs of your particular family members.
If that urging just seems too Pollyannaish or futile, your best bet may be to do an end run around your half-brother and contact the administrator at your mother's nursing home.
He or she may work with you in finding a solution, which may be as simple as setting up a staggered visiting schedule for you and your half-brother.
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